Health & Wellness, New Mom, nutrition

#momlife Sucks Sometimes and I’m Not Afraid to Say It

Sometimes, #momlife sucks. I said what I said.

You get stuck in a rut. The groundhog day of never ending snack making, butt wiping, mess cleaning, tantrum bearing, fight stopping, UGH

You wake up before you feel rested. Usually by a toddler with so much energy they’re already bouncing off the walls and whining for breakfast. 

So you move like a zombie out of bed and throw on some clothes (nevermind the inner dialogue about nothing fitting your post baby bod and never looking cute). Down to the kitchen to make something for the kiddo. Hopefully you get a bite to eat too, or at least a sip or two of cold coffee?

Then it’s an attempt to wipe the kid’s faces and hands before they track jelly all over the living room. And a frantic 5 minutes of cleaning up the kitchen and putting away food before you’re called to take care of something else.

During the week, we’re packing lunches and backpacks and rushing off to daycare and work. We’ve already gone through a mental workout before we’re even in the car, making sure we didn’t forget one of the 100’s of things needed for school, daycare, or our own jobs. (Pump parts, check. Bottles, check. Bring a stuffed animal to school day, check.)

Then spend the day doing more at work in fewer hours than most. Trying to stay professional and not get mommy-tracked because we have to take pumping breaks. Missing our kids and vowing to be more patient when we get home. Wondering “what happened to the woman who was totally on top of her shit?”. Wondering if there is something really wrong with us, because we know our brain is just not firing on all cylinders like it used to.

By the time we’ve finished underperforming for the day, we rush home to cranky and overtired kids. Rush through the daycare and after school care pickups. Break the vow to be more patient by the fifth time you have to repeat yourself about doing homework or picking up toys. 

Too tired and brain dead to make a “good” dinner, so you throw things together and hope for the best. Kids complain. Great.

Then it’s the rush through the bedtime routine. Hopefully we aren’t too irritated with everyone to enjoy the 5 minutes of storytime and snuggles before the kids get in bed. Hopefully they stay in bed and it doesn’t take an hour+ to get the baby to sleep.

Maybe at this point we are so done we crash in bed ourselves. But more likely, we push through and get to cleaning up the dinner mess, pay some bills, or take care of some more work stuff.

Maybe we actually get a glass of wine and stay up too late scrolling through social media or watching a TV show.

Then we get in bed, full of regrets for how the days go, how we didn’t “enjoy” every moment with our kids, how we are not the mom we want to be and not the employee we want to be. Don’t even start on the friend and spouse we want to be…

Just to do it all over again when we’re woken up too early tomorrow. Groundhog Day, repeats.

Yeah, going through this definitely sucks. And admitting that doesn’t make you a “bad mom.” It doesn’t make you ungrateful. Wondering “is this it? Cause I don’t think I like this life” makes you human, not evil.

You know that things should be less stressful and more joyful than this. But you really can’t seem to get your head above water. You feel guilty for not being able to figure it out.

Here’s the deal. It’s always harder to find your way out when you’re in the thick of it. A mouse has a hard time finding its way out of the maze when the walls are taller than it is. 

But someone who is above the maze can clearly see the way out, and call out directions to the mouse to get it out faster.

I’m going to call out directions for you.

It starts with food.

Yup the food you’re eating. (Probably don’t like that answer, huh.) Your overall nutrition is the key to getting out of the overwhelm and getting control back in your life.

Food. Not pills or supplements.

When we’re in the rat race, stuck in the overwhelm, and always feeling a step behind, we’re in a constant state or reactionary stress. And that low grade, chronic stress does a number on our bodies. We deplete several essential nutrients faster when we are under a chronic stress load.

When you layer a less than nutritious diet on top of that, you end up with a recipe for some serious problems. Leaving your body without the nutrients it needs to function amplifies the exhaustion, the overwhelm, and the inability to think straight.

All of which feed into the overwhelm cycle, keeping you stuck.

So focusing on fruits and veggies may seem like a counterintuitive path out of the overwhelm maze. But it’s the fastest way to the finish. 

Start with food. Focus on as many whole veggies and fruits that you can. Focus on high quality protein sources and whole food carbohydrates. Cut back on the packaged, processed, and sugar foods.

You have to eat. It’s literally the one thing that you can’t not do. So why not make it work for you instead of against you? 

If the thought of changing your diet to something that is more nutrient rich is overwhelming, that’s ok! I have so many moms tell me they just have no idea where to start. 

If you want directions out of the maze, I’m here to call them out to you.

I’m here to help moms figure out how to make this a seamless and effortless part of their lives. Because it actually does take a village, and supporting other women in becoming the badass moms they know they can be is what lets us all live better lives.

I am more than willing to chat with you and get you on the right track. So feel free to contact me and I’ll give you 30 minutes to figure out the right first step for you.

We’re in this together. Let’s make things suck just a little less.

Health & Wellness, Time Management, Uncategorized

“Balance”

I’m still reflecting over the past whirl wind of a year and there is one lesson that keeps coming to mind. It’s about that balance thing that everyone talks about. A part of the reason why I began the journey that lead me to becoming a Nutrition Coach was because I was looking for more of that elusive “balance” in my life. I could no longer go every day to a job and field that not only took more than a third of my life every week to accomplish, but also wasn’t anything that I was excited about. I didn’t want to have my kids continue to grow up with a parent who was gone for 11 of their 14 awake hours every weekday and who was too exhausted and stressed out on the weekends to be of any use to them. If only I could find a better balance, then it would all be ok, right?

I’ve come to learn that this “balance” thing that is sold to us via social media, “me time” memes, and time management articles doesn’t exist. It’s a myth, a unicorn that some people like to pretend that they have. This whole illusion of the mom-who-has-it-all is so damaging; it sucks the joy right out of our lives. We are bombarded with this idea that we should and could be that pinterest crafting mom, who is also an E-Suite employee with a perfectly cleaned and organized house. Oh and you also run literal marathons on the weekend, while taking fun, yet educational trips with your kids and accomplishing every to-do task on the list, so that you have enough time for that luxurious massage and bubble bath on Sunday night. After all, you should recharge so that you can crush the upcoming week, right? If you were balanced, then this could be you!


The illusion of balance drives us to stress, to drink, to wonder “Why am I broken? Why am I the only one who can’t do this right?”

My study of nutrition over the past year has put a spot light on how ridiculous this premise is. This whole balance thing is also sold by the food and dieting industry, under the brand “All Things in Moderation.” But once you start to learn about how certain things that we disguise as food affect the human body, you realize that this moderation thing just isn’t true. All things in moderation is something that is said by people trying too sell you on the things that are NOT good for you. (I’m looking at you diet soda…)

On the flip side of All Things in Moderation, there is the “do-this-every-day-to-be-healthy” crowd, which also echoes the mom-who-has-it-all illusion. The laundry list of superfoods and spices that you need to have in your diet to be healthy is a mile long. Trying to follow this list religiously will eventually induce similar stresses as trying to be the perfect, “balanced,” parent described above.

So what is the actual solution to all of this? Well, when it comes to food and nutrition, I know that there isn’t balance day to day. There isn’t enough time to do every single healthy thing that you can possibly do in a day. The amount of time, resources, and energy to craft a perfectly balanced diet for 24 hours, and for every 24 hours for the rest of your life just doesn’t exist. You can get a lot closer to that balance over the course of a week. You get ever closer of you remain consistent over a month.

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Our diets are meant to ebb and flow, with foods rotating into and out of them as they came available in nature. This is why in the summer you prefer to eat lighter foods and in the winter we love a hearty stew. Great nutrition is something that you give your body over the course of a year, not necessarily in a day. Now that doesn’t mean that there wont be some days where you have an abundance of superfoods, but it won’t be every day and that’s ok. The balance occurs over the course of a year.

In addition to this, when it comes to nutrition it is important that we avoid the things that don’t help out health. It’s not all things in moderation, there are certainly foods that we eat that damage our health and that we should not eat at all. It can be terrifying to acknowledge that no, you really shouldn’t ever have a diet soda again. Realizing this can bring a sense of loss and a sense of identity crisis.

But ultimately, there is freedom in no longer being a slave to this or that food or addiction. Happiness means letting go of the things that do not serve you. And this remains true when it comes to foods that we should not eat or those lifestyle choices that are ultimately toxic to our health.

It’s time for me to let go of this idea that “if I only balanced things better, my life would be better.” What will make my life better is to let go of the activities that are equivalent to the diet sodas in my life, to start the activities that are equivalent to superfoods, and to know that these superfood activities do not all have to be accomplished in one day. If we are having a good amount of those superfood activities over a week or month, then we are on the right track.

It turns out that while I started last year trying to obtain the balance illusion, I found something much better. Instead of this balance, I’ve learned what “junk foods” I need to stop spending my time on. I realized that it wasn’t so much the time that I was putting into the old job that was the issue, it was that for me, the old job is like some form of nutritionally deficient microwave dinner. It keeps you alive but slowly destroys your body, your health, and your happiness. By taking the steps to become a Nutrition Coach, I’m switching out these microwave dinners for whole foods which restores the life destroyed by a poor diet.

And the added bonus is, it tastes delicious.